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So, Mr. Hydrogen Atom rushes into the Periodic Chart Police Station in a great tizzy, crying, "Help, help, someone has stolen my electron!"

"Calm down, Mr. Hydrogen Atom," says the nearest Periodic Chart Police Officer, "are you sure someone's stolen your electron?"

Says Mr. Hydrogen Atom, "Oh, yes! I'm positive."

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!

Paul Mcgillion is going to be at Forbidden Planet on the Bridges on Nov. 14th signing!!!!!

I sooooo have to go!
Damn, need to get work off....

If you think of the chances of this!
I was on the phone to my father in Hawaii and for some strange reason, we were talking about dinner, when he suddenly stopped and said: 'Wow, earthquake!'

I thought that he was joking and was like: 'Right, that's nice...' And then I could hear thinks clinking and shaking in the background and I acutally WAS and earthquake happening!

Really, think of the remote chances of this, factoring in the rarity that we talk and the fact that Hawaii has never before had an earthquake! I would need a supercomputer to actually find the odds of this!

It's like when my mother was driving on a motorway in Canada and 1 mile up the road she was driving on, a twister went across it!

Do you think the chances would be roughly the same as being struck by lightening?
The irony of it!
All the politicians are harping on about 'pc this' and 'pc that' and just listen to the letter I got about the medical screening!

'The medical will start with basic screening. This will involve measuring your height and weight, eye test including colour vision, hearing test and breathing test. Those individuals who are heavier than predicted will have further testing performed to ensure that you are muscularly built rather than fat.'
I thought that this was amusing, so I figured that I would share it!
It's stolen from blossom_anthne's journal, but I can't seem to post a comment to ask her if I can use it!

So, solution: post before I forget and as soon as I can sent her a comment, tell her!

As part of an Interfaith community project, A right wing Christian priest, a rabbi, and a Pagan priestess decided that in order to improve relations in the community, they will go on a fishing trip together on a local pond.

They're out in the boat, and the Pagan priestess excuses herself to go to the bathroom back on the shore. She gets out, walks across the water back to shore, and then walks back across the water to the boat.

The Christian priest looks in amazement, crosses himself, and they continue fishing. It comes on about noon time, and the rabbi realizes they left their lunches back on shore. So he gets up, walks across the water to the shore, retrieves the lunches, and walks back across the water to the boat.

The Christian priest, now completely amazed, and a little bit righteous, thinks, "not to be outdone by two heathens, I can do that too!!" So he gets up, excuses himself to go to the bathroom, takes a step out of the boat and promptly sinks to the bottom.

While he's flailing around in the water, the rabbi looks at the priestess
and says, "Do you think we should have told him about the rocks?"

The Pagan priestess replies, "What rocks?"
Equality may perhaps be a right, but no power on earth can ever turn it into a fact
Honore de Balzac

A professor is one who talks in someone elses sleep
W. H. Auden

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the mind than the wish to forget it
Michel de Montaigne

Hope is the feeing that you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent
Jean Kerr
Yesterday's gone and tomorrow may never come, but we have this moment today.

Why not?
Why not you?
Why not now?

I think that I'll be posting quotes here more often - just to keep a record of quotes that amuse, inspire or have significant meaning to me.